Some people stand in the darkness. Some people make movie versions of campy ’90s television series about lifeguards. It’s gonna be all right. They’re always ready, they won’t let you out of their sight, etc.

Enter Baywatch, directed by Seth Gordon and starring the duo of Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron. They run on the beach (presumably in slow motion). They help people. They run on the beach more. (Motion now even slower than before?) They crack jokes about each other. They wear American flag Speedos under their breakaway pants. Because that’s what heroes do. They celebrate the United States with tight undergarments.

The full (and still minimal) plot synopsis:

BAYWATCH follows devoted lifeguard Mitch Buchannon (Johnson) as he butts heads with a brash new recruit (Efron). Together, they uncover a local criminal plot that threatens the future of the Bay.

Not a local criminal plot! Those are the worst kinds of criminal plots! Thank goodness there are lifeguards around to stop it.

The film is unquestionably inspired by the tone and style (and, even more importantly, rabid success) of the 21 Jump Street film franchise. Whether it actually does a satisfactory job of poking fun at its source material while delivering the action and comedy goods remains to be seen. Baywatch, which also stars Alexandra Daddario and Priyanka Copra and will feature appearances by original Baywatch stars David Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson, opens in theaters on May 26.

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