How To Beat The Texas Summer Heat Without Losing Your Cool

There are two types of people in Texas during summer: those who are pretending it’s “not that bad” and those who accept that we live in an air fryer with mosquitoes. If you want to make it through without melting into your truck seat or saying a few phrases that would make grandma faint here are a few survivor tips.

Respect the Shade like Your Grandma's Couch

If you find some shade make sure you sit in it and stay in it. Sit under it. Park under it. Marry it. Shade in Texas is like gold. It's rare and valuable, and it's usually surrounded by something wanting to bite you. Extra points if there's a fan and some sweet tea close by.

Hydrate like you're training for a pee test

Drink water constantly. Not soda, not beer, and not "iced coffee". Just drink water. You will need so much of it that you will be mapping bathroom stops based on errands. If your pee is the same color as sweet tea you are dehydrated.

Time your outdoor activity like a vampire

If you are doing anything outside between 11 a.m. and 7 p.m. then you are either brave or new to Texas. Mow the lawn early and take the dog out for a walk late in the evening. Don't even look at the outside until the sun is setting.

Dress like you just walked out of a linen commercial

Light colors and loose fit are your friends. You want to wear fabrics that breathe. If you don't feel like your outfit flutters when the wind blows then you're doing it wrong. If you were looking for one, yes, this is your excuse to wear Crocs and say that they are practical.

Stay cool both literally and figuratively

You will burn your hand on your seatbelt. You are going to sweat in places you didn't even know had pores. However, if you can keep from cussing out the sun itself, congratulations, you have earned your Texas stripes.