Conspiracy Nuts – What Happens In The Secret Squirrel Headquarters In New Braunfels, TX?
What In The Squirreled...World Is Going On In New Braunfels, Texas?
Folks, I'm gonna be honest here - this is the last thing I expected to find here in the state of Texas. It's a place with an adorable and yet still somewhat ominous name that actually exists. That's according to Google Maps, anyway.
What Are The Squirrels Really Up To In Texas?
Yes, It's Real
I couldn't believe it, so I went to look for myself and yes, it's there. Google describes it simply as a "Government building", and the Express story notes that "secret squirrel" could be military slang for classified work.
Perhaps the squirrels built it themselves? That's a crazy thought to say the least. Unless the squirrels are built by humans and released into the world? Are they spying on us?
You know what, since we've already opened up Pandora's Can of Nuts so to speak, let's brainstorm a bit. What is happening in the Secret Squirrel Building?
Could It Be Where The Willy Wonka Squirrels Live?
Willy Wonka had to let the squirrels have a vacation of some sort, right? This could be where they stay for R&R, enjoying some tubing and BBQ. Or perhaps Wonka has branched out with U.S. candy factories, and this is where the busy-tailed employees over here sort the nuts?
Squirrel Girl's Secret Southwest Headquarters?
For you comic book fans out there, there's a Marvel hero named The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl. This could be where she makes plans to stop the evil schemes of Texas supervillains.
Maybe The Squirrels Are Watching Us?
This seems a little far-fetched, but how do they always know when to throw the nut at us? It makes perfect sense doesn't it? This could be where the government squirrel drones go to upload their surveillance footage and report on our comings and goings.
The Texas Stock Nut Exchange?
Look, not every nut is going to be perfect. But what if there was a way to gather up enough nuts to trade for a new one? They say squirrels don't retrieve most of the nuts they store because they're stolen or the critters forget where they hid them, so maybe this is where they go to file claims on lost nuts. That could happen here!
Secret Squirrel Retired Here?
It you remember Secret Squirrel, a cartoon from the 60s, you'll know he was a suave individual. Perhaps he retired here? In fact, he could be pulling up to the lair in the opening credits:
Are The Squirrels Planning To Take Over?
Could the squirrels have figured out a way to take over the world? There's no way...but then again...
What Do You Think The Squirrels Are Up To?
Do you have any ideas? Let us know by sending us a message using the Chat feature on our FREE station app.
To any squirrels who may be reading this - we don't want any trouble.
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