I Know Who Has the Biggest Wiener in Lubbock

Are you in the mood for some tube steak? Well, I may have the hookup for you.

Do you know where to find the El Hefe Hotdog, the Great Glizzy. or the Guts ’N Butts Grand Champion? I’ve spent a lot of time searching for big wieners, and I believe I’ve finally found one of the biggest and best around.

I don’t gorge myself quite like I used to. There was a time when I would visit the Chinese buffet once a week, all by myself, simply because I loved it so much. Friday breakfast at Golden Corral was also a regular thing.

We even had a group of guys known as the “Band of Bellies.” We would descend on local restaurants en masse and, as we liked to say, “mess things up.”

These days, I try to eat a little more responsibly. To be completely honest, two regular hot dogs loaded with all the fixings and stuffed into buns can feel like a bit much.

But what if I told you that I know where to find one enormous wiener that dwarfs nearly every other wiener on the grill, with more beef to the bite?

First, let’s establish the standard. An Oscar Mayer Classic Hot Dog weighs about 1.5 ounces.

Now get ready for the Signature SELECT Jumbo Beef Uncured Frank from United. These monsters weigh approximately four ounces apiece. That means one of these jumbo franks contains about as much hot dog as 2.67 regular Oscar Mayer dogs. It's over seven inches long, and very girthy!

Yes, you read that correctly. One hot dog is nearly the equivalent of three regular hot dogs.

Nessmania-One huge wiener!

This Wiener Makes Regular Buns Look Silly

The good news is that the taste is right on target. It tastes exactly like you want a grilled beef hot dog to taste. It’s simply bigger, thicker and longer than the average dog.

This is the hot dog for people who put the beef ahead of the bun.

In fact, these things make regular hot dog buns look downright dorky. You may have to hunt down an oversized bun, use a hoagie roll or simply accept that your meat is going to hang out on both ends.

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Give them a try the next time you fire up the grill. Invite everybody over and proudly announce that you’ll be handing out giant wieners at your cookout.

Your guests may laugh, but they’ll stop laughing when they see the unmatched length, impressive girth and four full ounces of beef headed toward their plates.