Professional writer for Uproxx.com, GammaSquad.com, Guyspeak.com, Guyism.com, Zug.com, and innumerable other sites. He writes the Internet, basically.
Dan Seitz
Beaverton Police Take Hamster Into Protective Custody
Pulling over a driver suspected of being impaired is unfortunately far too common for most police officers.
Having to take a hamster into protective custody, on the other hand, is somewhat outside the usual scope of police duty. And yet, in Beaverton, OR, they were called on to do just that.
Sedated Dog Sounds Just Like Chewbacca
This is Aero. He went to the vet for treatment, which he recovered handily. But in the meantime, this is what he sounds like when he's expressing displeasure under sedation. The results sound eerily similar to Chewbacca:
So that's how they did it...
Big Tex, Beloved Landmark, Burns In Accidental Fire
Big Tex, the beloved mascot of the Texas State Fair who stood at the gates greeting fairgoers for sixty years, caught fire yesterday. Even the hardest-bitten cowboy is shedding a tear today.
Drunk Stops Musician In The Street, Performs Sweet Impromptu Duet
Usually when a musician is dealing with a drunk, it usually ends in awkwardness or a funny story. But for Logan Afyouni, it actually ended in one of the sweeter impromptu duets we've ever seen. Afyouni tutors the man on "My Darling Caroline" and then...
Is This The Origin Of Homer Simpson?
In the "weird coincidences" file, we've got this cartoon, which was first published in 1949 in a magazine in Iceland. Yeah, they look fairly similar... but wait until you see the whole cartoon.
Paddleboarder Saves Shih Tzu Puppy With Ten Minutes To Spare
Charlie Head is already the kind of guy who kind of makes you look bad, and he's about to make you look worse. He's an extreme paddleboarder who was on his way from Cornwall to London when he happened to notice something on a small collection of rocks...
Shower Cat Enjoys Bathing With His Human
Cats rather famously do not like water. Except when they do like water, because then, apparently, they love it. Witness this kitty in the shower, who seems to be enthralled with the streams of water coming out of it and not to mind getting soaked...
NASA To Market Motion-Sickness Nasal Spray
If you get motion sick, you're probably looking for any form of relief. And a source of it is coming from an unlikely place: NASA.
Man Tries To Cook Squirrel With Blowtorch, Burns Down Apartment Complex
If you're going to cook and eat a squirrel, for some inexplicable reason, we can stake with confidence that a blowtorch is not the way to go about doing it.
Frustrated Driver Thinks Deer Should Be Told To Cross In Low-Traffic Areas
We feel really bad for Donna, the woman in this clip, because she seems an exceptionally nice lady. She's well-spoken and polite, just... hazy on a few concept. Donna called into a North Dakota morning show because she couldn't get anybody to pay attention to her problem. Which essentially boils down to misunderstanding who a specific sign is aimed at.
Twins Try To Imitate Dad’s Sneeze
Babies imitate their parents all the time, as anybody who has accidentally let a curse word slip in front of a baby can tell you. But sometimes this is less embarrassing and more cute.
Witness, for example, these twins "learning" how to sneeze courtesy of their dad...
Christopher Lloyd As a Vampire Is Still Surprisingly Cuddly
So that's what happened to Doc Brown! Science has gone mad! Mad!