Ever since country stars Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert bummed out their fanbase with news that they'd ended their marriage in July 2015, their lives have been rich grist for the gossip mill. Blake, in particular, has drawn countless headlines for his high-profile relationship with Gwen Stefani (tabloids have wishfully knocked her up with a maternity ward's worth of babies, for one) and now it seems one story went a bridge too far.

The Voice judge is suing In Touch Weekly for $2 million over a story in their September 28 issue, according to documents obtained by TMZ. As the site's incredible headline sums up, his main assertion in the suit against In Touch parent company Bauer Media amounts to "I'M NOT A DRUNK And I Never Peed on a Mailbox." Who among us hasn't found themselves insisting that same truth? 

The "Came Here to Forget" singer's sworn declaration refutes points alleged in In Touch's story, which painted a dark picture involving substance abuse, rehab and infidelity during his marriage to Lambert. Here are some things Blake Shelton says he did NOT do, and never has done:

-- "I have never been to rehab."

-- "I did not then nor have I ever hit rock bottom."

-- "I do not drink excessively, binge drink or have a drinking problem."

-- "I do not drink vodka before 11 AM."

-- "I am never drunk, intoxicated, or unable to perform my job on 'The Voice.'"

-- "I do not slur my words or stumble when I drink."

-- "I have never urinated on a mailbox."

While "I've never hit rock bottom" seems tough to quantify — much less prove in a court of law — it's certainly isn't any publication's call to do so. Shelton also denied another dicey claim in the In Touch story, stating, "My ex-wife Miranda Lambert did not catch me with a bunch of naked women in our Tennessee home." Fair enough.

In case you need further proof that tabloids paint Blake Shelton's private life as the stuff of literal Scandal, his hired mouthpiece is Judy Smith, the legendary crisis manager who the ABC series' Olivia Pope is based on.

"The story was categorically false," Smith tells TMZ. "Blake said enough is enough and decided to fight back." Check out the cover for the disputed story below.

In Touch
In Touch

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